Long over due! Mixed Emotions!

I know I haven't written in a long time and for that I'm truly sorry. So here goes and sorry if this is incredibly long, but things need said and to those that read this, some people know whats going on and to others you might be surprised as to the mysteries that unfold in my life.

I have recently meet a very sweet, wonderful and caring man. His name is Eric, and he's from Michigan. He has moved into the area, about an hour and a half from me, he's a special education teacher, teaching in Ingalls. He's very devoted to his job, as any honest good hard- working person should be. We started seeing each other, but I knew and he had made very clear, that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship. Since I was, and still am I choose not to see him as anything more then friends. I deeply hope that he can be comfortable just being friends, and I'm sure that he will find someone that will treat him respectful and give him all the love and attention that he so desires. Many of you know that I have wrote a blog posted "Prince Charming". In that I had stated that I was only interested in dating white gentlemen. I also stated that I wasn't a racist, it's just what I prefer, and that I don't have any problem with other people having inter-racial relationships I just don't have them. And I also stated that I had "mixed" cousins and a niece and a nephew that are I love them just the same. I was informed my Eric that one of his gal pals from up north had read my blog posting and was very much offended by that comment, and I told him that I wasn't racist and I was truly sorry that I had offend her. I even offered to let him give my email and numbers to her and she may talk to me so that she could better understand why I had posted it and that it was said with honest intentions. This friend gave him the choice of either being friends with me or her. He choose her, he's had longer history with her and I respect his decision. What I don't respect is that anyone that forces another friend to pick one over the other. This ,to me, isn't a true friend! I know that I wouldn't and have never had to choose and I've never put someone in that position where they had to choose, in those cases I feel know one really wins, someone will and always gets hurt. In this case, I got hurt. Eric told me that I could still call and text him, like being a private friend. I don't think this is fair. I don't know why anyone would want to be secret friends, it's like we're trying to hide something and I strongly dislike this feeling. I even put a note on the top of that certain blog that said some people may not like what I pick but this is me, but I guess that never matters. I always say that I live my life with no regrets and I still don't, but I do feel saddened for cause so much drama to come over Eric, his friend, and I. I really put him into a difficult position and I'm truly sorry for that! I did go over and make him Spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread, and cheesecake. I truly hope that he enjoyed it. I know he liked the cheesecake! I haven't talked to him much after that night, but he was my cherry lifesaver on Saturday. Woke up very early to let me drive over and use his shower since I had been working all night, I had to work my morning job at Walmart and then a 16 hour split at Mosaic, and I had to be back at 9 at Walmart again. I desperately needed a shower and he let me use his. I hope that he was able to go back to sleep once I left. I do feel bad that I caused him to go without sleep but I'm so truly thankful that he is so nice and sweet and he let me in. I don't know when I'll be able to see him again, probably not until after I get back from my trip, but then again we have texting, I don't call him much. Since he's a teacher he does work at home and I always am afraid I'm gonna messed him up or bother him if he's trying to focus. In total once I woke up at 6:45 Friday morning I was up until Sunday when I got home to sleep at 8am, and I had to be back at Mosaic at 3 pm. Needless to say I was extremely tired, but I got home last night at 12 and went straight to bed. I only have to work Walmart and I have an activities meeting at Mosaic, but that's it. I'm gonna go out and hang with Scott tonight. He offered to buy me dinner and go see a movie. It will be nice to sit down and kick it with a friend. I think he said that he needed help with putting out his Halloween decorations and anyone that knows me knows that I'm a huge holiday decorator. I love putting decorations out and making a house feel like a home. I thought about going to school for designing but I just have a passion to do it myself. I love being a health care worker and hopefully will continue in this field for a long time to come. That reminds me that I have decorations in boxes in the shed and I need to put up my own Halloween decorations at home. Plus tonight, Scott has this incredible massage chair. I told him if he ever comes home and it's gone it so wasn't me! lol! It's got the leg recliner where you're leg go into it and it massages you're calves and everything! So nice!!

Work is going OK. We are getting new schedules and I so don't like them at all. I'm gonna have to go to working overnights. But I'm going to go to working under Lori at either Pawnee or Henderson, or both. I really like Lori, unlike Liz and Angela. When Lori calls and needs something done it's "I know you're really busy but can you do this for me?" Liz and Angela it's "Go do this now!" It drives me crazy. We had a lady that needed a ride to church and they called, I was in the middle of cooking for two people and said they didn't even care. I'm sorry but someone eating to me is more important then going to church. Everyone that knows me knows just how religious I am but, if it was that important why couldn't they drive her over there themselves or call someone else. They always tell me they don't have staff that can do it, but we have staff all over this agency and I know there's other people with less work that could go and do it. I've been a DSM before and I know that sometimes it's jut easier to go do it myself them to call around and see who's available. But I do also know that DSM's jobs are very difficult and there are days when you feel you never get a break and you'd rather have someone else do it for you so you can try to have a moments rest. But I think it's important that they don't forget that with DSA's, which is what I, the company wouldn't work and that they should treat us better or they won't get special requests done. I was so mad at Liz yesterday. She called me to go do 6 - Plex and C- Street meds and cooking. I reluctantly said yes, but when I got over there the staff was already working. I called her back and was like what's going on they shave staff and she told me she wasn't answering her phone so that meant she wasn't at work. I'm sorry but just because I don't answer my phone doesn't mean that I'm not doing something, it to me, means that I am doing something and maybe didn't have time to pick it up at that second. We're not even supposed to have cell phones at work anyway, but when the DSM's need us they call our cell phones, strange huh?! Michael, I feel, no longer works for the agency. There's a lot of rumors going around about the reasons for his absence,and I don't know if any are true and it would be wrong to post them especially if they are false, it would ruin his credibility. He's such a nice man I would hate to think he's gone, but I hope that all is well and that everything works out for the best! My thoughts and prayers are with him.

I'm still making plans for my trip to Wichita! Should be a blast! Wait it's going to be a blast! I got my room booked for 5 nights at Motel 6! JEFF DUNHAM!!! Y'all I found the coolest photo of Walter for my desktop background. It's him with his arms crossed and below him it says Walter: He'll kick you're ass! lol!

Lastly, my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gary are getting a divorce after 27 years of marriage. My Uncle Gary severely messed up and lost a great woman. My aunt is my mothers' sister. All I'm going to say on here to protect her is that he had bought a house in Olmitz and was having an affair. Sharon contacted a lawyer and got her a house for rent. Gary came home last night to a very,very,very empty house! They have three kids, my cousins. Darren, Debbie, and Dianna. Each knows the entire story and each are siding with their mother! I hope all works out well for her and that the judgement is handled in a timely and orderly fashion. My thoughts and prayers are with my Aunt and my three Cousins. I love you all and wish you all the best!

Here's my songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ1phmlq8BEoutube.com/watch?v=wJ1phmlq8BE Theory Of A Deadman - Bad Girlfriend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fykZ3PymMo KT Tunstall - Big Black Hourse And A Cherry Tree
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvKgnkIN8C8 Brad Paisley - Waitin' On A Woman

More Favorite Things!

The Bucket List

Hit forward and place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to your friends (including me).

This is for your entire life!

(X) Gone on a blind date

(X) Skipped school

(X) Watched someone die

(X) Been to Canada

(X) Been to Mexico

(X) Been to Florida

(X) Been on a plane

(X) Been lost

(X) Been on the opposite side of the country

(X)Gone to Washington, DC

(X) Swam in the ocean

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(X) Played cops and robber

(X) Recently colored with crayons

(X) Sang Karaoke

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't

(X) Made prank phone calls

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(X) Watched the sunrise with someone

(X) Blown bubbles

(X) Gone ice-skating

(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors

(X) Gone to the movies








1. Any nickname? Sammie, Samantha, Yeah you bitch! lol jk
2. Mother's name? Susan
3. Favorite drink? Coke, no ice, slightly chilled but not too cold, Sonic Cranberry Slushes, Starbucks White Chocolate Espresso with an extra shot and lots of whipped cream on top!
5. Body Piercings? Ears, lip, tongue. I'm gonna get my belly button, and maybe something else done later

6. How much do you love your job? I have two jobs and I love both of them, yes!
7. Birthplace? Great Bend, KS

8. Favorite vacation spot? Wichita Ks! lol!
9. Ever been to Africa? Nope, but I'd love to go to Egypt
10. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? Oh hell yeah!
11. Ever been on TV? Yeah, during high school and college sporting events, and for some of my jobs in the past.
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? No officer! lol Actually yes I have, but I had help. Y'all know who you are!
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes! But both weren't my fault! Thanks God for insurance!
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? I have a 4 door Mercury Sable
15. Can you drive a standard car? Yes I can! I wish I had one now, I'm hoping my next car will be one.
16. Favorite pie? PUMPKIN!!!! or My homemade cheesecake!
17. Favorite number? 8 and 33
18. Favorite movie? 8mm with Nicolas Cage. Blood, sex, and suspense! What could be better!
19. Favorite holiday? Gotta be Christmas! I love the idea that so many people forget about the petty differences and the holiday cheer is just so great! I wish more people acted all year around like they act at Christmas. Plus I love spoiling people and I'm very much a giver so I tend to give much more. I'm not so much concerned with receiving but I love giving! Tis better to give then receive anyway!
20. Favorite dessert? Mommas homemade crescent rolls, pumpkin pie, my cheesecake, macadanian white chocolate cookies, chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal cookies, white or yellow cake, better then sex cake, lol ok I'm gonna stop I just gained twenty pounds writing this list! lol! 21. Favorite food? Anything momma or daddy make, Mexican, Italian, anything spicy or with a kick, Chinese, American, idk I'm really not too picky about what I eat
22. Favorite day of the week? Umm, probably Tuesday, I normally have off from both my jobs so it works out better for me. Sucks that it's at the middle of the week but oh well, it's still a day off
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Bath and Body works Apple or Caress or Dove
24. Favorite toothpaste? Colgate Total spearmint, I don't use anything but spearmint
25. Favorite smell? Apple Cinnamon! Momma baking goodies, Rain!!
26. How do you relax? Talk with friends and family, read a good book, listening to my favorite musics, watch one of my favorite movies over and over even though I know every word. Walking in the rain, or sitting outside listening to wind blow gently through the trees with nature as my music to my life, or climbing up on the roof and watching the stars pass over head.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? 10 YEARS!!! (Good band) Well I'll be 32, hopefully having my CMA, CNA, and RN completed. Working for a great home health company as a Medical coordinator or in a hospital in either the birthing unit or on extended stay patients. I wouldn't want to work in ICU, or Emergency too busy and too sad. True I'd probably be sad in birthing too, but I'd rather cry to have a life brought into the world, then taken out of it. Hopefully married to a wonderful man, with children, and living in a nice home that I can call my own. I don't know exactly where I'll be living at, but I know that I'll be happy!


Note: Why is ther no number 4? Hopefully I'm not the first the realize this, If I am that's sad, I'm normally the last.



Here's My Songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8khHqMntkbQ Carrie Underwood- Just A Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK-H76JeFpA Maroon 5 Ft. Rihanna - If I never See Your Face Again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzwAXlWkk3Y O.A.R. - Shattered